이상한 계절

Tone it down a little, dude....

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 15:04:42 GMT

One of my many annoyances is guys who come off way too strong.
The instant a guy starts making suggestive comments, any thought I may of had of getting to know them diminishes.
Maybe I'm strange (that's a definite), but that really does nothing for me. More than anything, it makes me anxious.

I'm much more attracted to guys who are a bit shy and reserved, and don't feel the need to exert their masculinity and sexuality.
I really need to find myself a sweet, awkward guy.

Another thing that bothers me is when they give me a compliment. I say thank you, and then there's a long pause.
I know that they are expecting my to reciprocate the compliment, and I don't want to be rude, but I always feel really awkward commenting on a stranger's appearance. And what if I don't feel particularly moved to make a compliment? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I guess this all comes down to the fact that I'm a very, very awkward girl.

I wouldn't want to be any other way though.

We have to do something.....

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:16:57 GMT

Yet another tattoo....

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:27:41 GMT

"Well, the story is in the soil, loose leaves cover the ground. There's volumes in the forest no one reads out loud. If I could take them down off of that mountain shelf we used to climb, but no one tries to go up that far now. Yeah, we're all too busy working entertaining ourselves. 40 hours television and prescription pills....."
Bright Eyes - Loose Leaves

(with Mr. Oberst in the background)

I've been in love with the music of Bright Eyes for a couple years now, and I think Conor Oberst is an absolute lyrical genius. I've loved this lyric from the beginning. It pops up twice in Bright Eyes' music, first for an album title "The story is in the soil, keep your ear to the ground," and also in the song "Loose Leaves." This might not be true for Conor, but for me, this lyric gives the message that the earth has a story, a rich, millions of years long history, that we don't bother to pay much attention to. In the rush of our daily lives, I think we tend to forget what we are standing on and what gives us life.

After a couple months of trying to decide on a design for my tattoo and changing my mind daily, I came up with this the night before I had it done. I just have to say this though, rushing into a tattoo is usually not a good idea. There's a chance I may regret this in the future, but for now it's good. I'm kind of proud of it actually. The font I used is supposed to be a replication of Elliott Smith's handwriting, which I've always thought was lovely. Strangely, my family thought that I wrote it (my handwriting is crap). I drew the leaves up, and the tattoo artist just cleaned them up a bit. I also chose the colors. Unfortunately, now that the tattoo is flaking, I can see some spots that didn't take the color well. I'll have to go get it touched up when I return home. Wrist tattoos usually need to be fixed after a while.

First post of 2009

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:53:57 GMT

Another year....

I arrived back in Korea yesterday. I should be excited to have another seven months of exploring and learning, but instead I'm just weary.
Going back home really reminded me about what I was missing and I was so happy to be back with my family. I did not want to get back on the plane and kept thinking about how seven months was such a terribly long time. I boarded the plane in Pasco and watched the Tri-Cities fade away as the plane took off, and I just started crying. I've never been so upset about leaving home. I'm usually very okay with going to a new place, so I was surprised. Even now I'm feeling very emotional about it. I'm going to try hard to enjoy my experience here and make the best of my time. I hope that in time I can return to being excited about being here.

I've made another resolution for the new year. I feel like I have way too much clutter in my life and I need to clean up. I'm a bit of a packrat and I tend to keep things around even if I haven't used them in forever. I think I also tend to pack too much with me. I'm tired of carrying about tons of stuff when I go places. My goal is that by the end of July, I'll have way less stuff to take home than what I brought with me in the beginning. This applies to non-physical things as well. I also have way too much going on with my computer and online. I started today by leaving a ton of groups on livejournal. A small step, but a step nontheless.

New Year's Resolutions Pt. 2

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:23:46 GMT

These are pretty much the same as every year. I might as well give them another try.

- Eat healthier (I've been doing pretty well with not eating junk the past couple days.)
- Practice yoga daily.
- Read more books
- Study at least one hour a day.
- Do a lot of volunteer work when I return to America.
-Try to live more "green"

Btw, I got another tattoo yesterday. I'm a bit crazy, I know. I'll explain it in the next post.

Happy New Year!!

$$$$

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:09:23 GMT

A new Pepsi logo.
Developed at a cost of more than $1 million, the "more dynamic and more alive" soft-drink logo will likely cost hundreds of millions of dollars to implement worldwide. (Reader's Digest)

Fuck you pepsi.
You spend millions to change your logo (which pretty much looks the same as the last one), and people are dying from poverty.
I just don't understand.

Moral Dilemma

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:51:19 GMT

Yesterday my co-worker, who is like a surrogate mother to me, presented me with a winter coat for Christmas. It's a really awesome coat and I love the style and color. There is fur around the hood of it, which I just assumed was fake.

But after while, I started to get the suspension that it wasn't fake. I asked my friend about it, and she assured me that it wasn't real.

Well, tonight I decided to check my dictionary just to be sure.

Lo and behold.........it's fox fur.

Crap. At first I was really worried, because I knew that if I took off the whole hood of the jacket, my co-worker would notice and ask about it. I have a terrible fear of upsetting people, so I didn't know how I'd be able to handle the situation. Most likely, if I just told her the reason, she would be cool with it, but I still have that fear. Luckily, when I was inspecting the hood to see if I could possibly cut the fur out, I found that the fur is actually buttoned on the hood and quite simple to take off. For some reason, it makes me feel a little bit more at ease if I have to explain to her. I don't know what I'll do with the fur, although my heart tells me that I should bury it somewhere.

This also led me to check the jacket that my friend let me borrow. Sure enough, it's made of duck feathers and raccoon fur. What the hell is going on with the clothing industry here?! Anyway, I'm going to return her jacket to her tomorrow. It also is an awesome jacket, but there's just no way I could feel comfortable wearing it now.

Moral dilemma solved, although I'm still sad that an animal was killed to make my clothing.

New Puppy!!

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:31:37 GMT

I told my family not to get a new puppy until I came home, but they didn't listen......

My father made some extra money at work and was going to use it to buy my mother a video camera for Christmas. Then he found an ad in the paper for Siberian husky puppies. This is my mother's dream dog, and she has wanted one for years. Luckily, my parents were the first to call, and got the 'pick of the litter.' My mother is ecstatic right now. We have never spent so much money to buy a purebred before, so it was a bit shocking when she told me.

He doesn't have a name yet, as my mother is still deciding. So far, he's getting along with my other dog, although she's a bit scared of him. The cats are not happy though. I thought that at least the younger one would be happy to have a new playmate, since our older dog died last month.

Now I'm even more excited to go home for Christmas!

I freaking love the guitar!

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:18:23 GMT

Today I went to a concert at the MBC tv station with my coworker. My coworker had sent in an email to get free tickets, which are supposedly hard to get, and luckily we were chosen. All I really knew about the concert was that a famous guitarist was going to be playing there.

This is who I got to see play:

</lj-embed>His name is Lee Byung Woo, and he's been a famous guitarist in the Korea for the past 20 years. He is best known for composing the soundtracks for Korean movies, "The King and the Clown" and "A Tale of Two Sisters," just to name a couple. The title of this song is "Bird."
I was pretty much blown away while listening to him, and I honestly almost started crying while he was playing this song. Needless to say, I became an instant fan.

During the concert, he had a singer come up and perform a couple songs with him. I was pretty impressed with the guy's voice and the emotion that he put into his singing. I think his name is Jang JeHyeong (I suck at romanizing Hangul). Here's a video of a performance that they did together at an earlier concert:

</lj-embed>They did the same song, but I think he sang much better at the concert I went to today, even despite having been in a motorcycle accident just a couple hours earlier and limping up onto the stage. He also looked a lot more like a hippy; sporting long hair, a beanie, and ripped up pants. I was all for it.

And finally, here's Sungha Jung performing a version of Lee Byung Woo's "Bird." I completely adore this child. I definitely recommend checking out his other videos. He's only 13! If he's this amazing now, I can't even imagine how much talent he'll have ten years from now.

</lj-embed>I really want to play guitar right now, but it's midnight. I need to sleep.

Dreams...

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:23:05 GMT

I was thinking today.....
I can't imagine what it would be like to be someone, say a businessman for example, who puts work before all else. Someone that is always serious and rational, and never has time for dreaming and hoping. Someone that would find it absurd to get lost in a daydream. Someone that has no time for joy and fun. For me, that would be the saddest way to live. It depresses me just to think about it.

I was also thinking that, no matter what, people should never give up their dreams. What fun is life without dreams? I don't advocate neglecting one's responsibilities, but I think there should be a good balance between doing what one must do and doing what one wants to do. I really hate the idea of someone going into a profession that they don't even enjoy just because their parents push them into it. No matter how much your parents have done for you, and how much you feel you owe them, you have your own life to live however you see fit. It's not theirs. I also hate the idea of someone giving up their dream because they feel like it's foolish or that society would look down on them for it.

You want to be a musician, but your parents are completely against it. Who cares? It's not their life. One example I can think of is Tablo from Epik High. His father insisted that he stay out of the music business and focus on his career instead, afraid that his song would fall into hardship. After many disputes with his parents, he almost bowed down to his father's wishes. But the death of his friend made him realize something important, and ended up following his dream anyway, becoming a well respected musician.

Lately I have been thinking that after Korea, it would be cool to just work at a coffee shop for a while and do volunteer work in my free time. Then I heard some friends joke about a friend of theirs who now works at a coffee shop. "Dream big," they laughed. I said nothing, but inside I was a little ashamed. I've graduated from college and now I have this huge honor of working under Fulbright, and all I want to do is work some small, meaningless job? Does this mean that will have wasted my education? Am I a failure? I've thought more about it, and I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what kind of job I get into, as long as I enjoy doing it and I can accomplish my dreams.

I guess what I am getting at is that life is far too short to constantly worry about impressing people or making others happy with your life choices. Dreams are important, and living out those dreams is what makes life really meaningful. I don't really care about being rich or successful, I only want to be happy. That's all.

Hell to the Yes!

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:01:32 GMT

At about 2pm today (Korea time), I decided to check msn.com to see if there was any news about the election. The minute I saw the headline on the main page, a huge grin spread across my face.

I will admit, I normally have very little comprehension of, or interest in, politics. Despite the fact that I took a few politics classes in college, I usually have a hard time understanding the policies and procedures of the government. All I really understand is that we have dug ourselves in pretty deep and the current president has been doing a pretty poor job for the past 8 years.

I didn't vote in the last election. I had the whole "well, I don't understand it well enough, so I won't bother voting" mindset. I now realize how incredibly lame that was. And I regret to say that I really didn't pay that much attention to this election until a couple months ago. It wasn't until I arrived in Korea that I started doing a bit of research and read more about the candidates. I still didn't fully understand the bigger picture, but I knew enough to decide who I would vote for. I almost missed the deadline, just because it's such a hassle to mail anything here, but I decided that this was something that I needed to do. I knew that I would regret it later if I didn't.

I can't state any strong reasons as to why I chose Obama. Of course, being that I tend to lean more to the democratic side (much to the annoyance of my father) does play a huge part. Also, a lot of the people I look up to and respect voted for Obama. I guess that I should also mention my annoyance towards Sarah Palin. I just couldn't imagine what would happen if she were to ever become president. I would agree with many others in saying that appointing her as vp was probably the worst thing McCain did for his campaign. But above all, this country desperately needs change, and Obama just seems like the suitable choice.

I was surprised at how incredibly happy I was when I found out the news. I've never really cared much about politics, like I mentioned, but this election was something incredibly different. I just couldn't stop smiling. I told my coworkers, and I was surprised at how excited they were as well. When I got home, I looked for any other news I could find. I watched McCain's speech first. I really respect him for what he said and how graciously he accepted the results (although some of his supporters could definitely take an example from this). I feel like if he had won (and if Palin hadn't been on the ballot as well), then things might have not been so bad.

Then I watched Obama's speech, and nearly burst into tears. I have never felt so much respect for my country and hope for the future as I do now. Listening to him talk really made me aware of how incredibly important this time in history is and how much potential we have. Things can definitely change for the better. It's going to take a lot of work, but we have a better chance now. I'm just hoping that everyone can put aside their differences and work together towards this change. I imagine that it's going to be very hard for a lot of people to accept this. I also worry about how some people will react. I'm pretty good at imagining the worst case scenario. So now I'm just praying that everybody will keep their heads on straight and that everything will work out.

Here's to a bright future!

It's way too early to be dealing with this....

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:16:31 GMT

I mean, it's only been less than four months, and I'm already getting homesick and considering returning home next July.

The first few months were awesome and I didn't think about home much at all. My plans were to stay in Korea for two years and then to see where things would go from there. I was ready to stay in Asia and teach English.

This same thing happened in Japan. The first half of the year was awesome, but after that I couldn't wait to get back home.
It's not that I don't enjoy being here. I love being in Asia and learning about language and culture, but I'm starting to realize that making my future here is probably not very realistic. I can see this becoming a cycle of me going to a place and really loving it for the first few months, and then wanting to return home.

Staying in Asia means being thousands of miles away from everyone I love and missing out on all the awesome holiday gatherings. It means constantly being an outsider and always feeling like you are being watched. And because it will take me years to really become fluent in the language, it means being dependent on the help of others all the time. I hate to bother people to help me and usually prefer to try to do things on my own, so this is a big issue for me. I also really miss the common convieniences that I had before, like being able to drive and cook my own food, haha.

Maybe I'm just not that strong of a person, but I feel so tied to my family that it bothers me to be so far away. I feel like I should be there to take care of my mother when she's upset. I should have been there to help my sister when she was going through her big breakup. Also, my oldest dog died the other day, so now I have the fear that someone else might leave while I'm gone, and I won't be able to see them again.

Some people really dislike the place they grew up in, but I've found that I enjoy living in my hometown. It's not too big or small, and I can usually find everything that I need. And of course, most of the people that I love live there.

There is another issue that has come up for me recently, and it's something I didn't expect would bother me so much.
It may be just because I'm getting older, but I'm thinking more about my future in regards to having a family. A year or two ago I was so intent on the fact that I didn't want to have children. I guess that being around so many children all the time and knowing people who are having children has put the idea in my head that I want to be a mother someday too. It's crazy, but I've been daydreaming so much about it lately.
My grandmother will have a major 'i told you so' session when she finds out. Anyway, I realized that if I were to raise a family, I wouldn't want to do it in Asia. But I guess that before I worry about having a child, I need to convince an awesome guy to marry me, right?

Anyway, this all has been heavy on my mind lately. It just sucks when you realize that all the plans you made probably won't work out like you imagined. At first, I was really upset because I had no idea what I would do if I returned home. Being a Japanese/Asian History major really doesn't open up a lot of job opportunities in my hometown. And also, being a Fulbright grantee means that you are expected to go on to do really awesome things, right? But the more I thought about it, I realized that there are other things I can do, even if they aren't related to Asia. I really like children, so I could go into childcare. I want to help people, so I could work at a non-profit organization. And if I decide that I really like teaching, the university near my home has an elementary teaching major. There's really nothing wrong with doing something ordinary, as long as I enjoy it, I guess.

But it is still very early. I still have eight months to experience Korea and decide what I really want to do. If I do end up returning to America, I can be happy with the fact that I lived in two foreign countries and had some really awesome experiences, which not many people have had. I still have time to make some amazing memories.

I just needed to get that all out. It always seems to feel better after translating thoughts into words.

I am so terrible at keeping this thing updated.

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:37:30 GMT

I haven't written anything in about three weeks. I just been so ~~lazy~~ busy.

A quick summary of what's been happening:
- Passed my Korean language classes with awesome grades (surprisingly).
- Performed in the talent show with my roommate. I played and sang "Song for the Dead" by Nell, while she sung backup vocals.
- Left Chuncheon and had an awesome weekend hanging out in Seoul.
- Yonsei Day. Met up with representatives from my school (one of the English teachers and his wife), had lunch, said goodbyes, and departed to Gwangju (four hour car ride).

I've been in Gwangju for about 10 days now. The night that I arrived here, I was met at the school by the Vice Principle, my co-teacher, my host family, and a few other people. They had prepared a special welcome banner that is hanging up on their main gate now. Everyone now knows my name, most likely because they read that banner and I'm the only foreigner in the area.

So far, I like the family that I am living with. I live with the parents, two girls (5th and 6th grade), the grandmother, and the uncle (who is on vacation and visiting). Everyone is really nice and treats me very warmly. The grandmother is always trying to start conversations, but unfortunately I still fail at Korean, and her accent is really heavy. The girls are both really fun and super cute. The oldest one speaks limited English, so I get all my information from her. The younger one can only speak a few words. It's a little difficult to understand what is being said to me and making myself understood, but it's been alright. It's also been a bit unnerving always hearing my name in conversations, but having no idea what is being said about me.

I haven't started teaching yet. The school has been on summer vacation since I've gotten here. I had thought that I would start on the 1st of September, but I've recently been informed that it will be the 8th instead. So I have quite a while to prepare. But still I am very worried and nervous. I had thought that teaching elementary school would be a lot easier than teaching secondary, but I'm starting to rethink that. I will be teaching grades 3-6 and I have to deal with the fact that most of my students will have very limited ability and that some might not even be able to read or write English. I think that will make things tons more difficult. I have to figure out a lot of good games and activities to keep them excited. Im assuming that I'll only be teaching each class once a week, and around 5 classes for each grade. I'm hoping that means that I'll only have to plan four lessons (one for each grade) and that I'll have multiple chances to improve on each lesson. So far, I have pretty much no idea what's going on or what I'm expected to do really. Hopefully next week I'll be able to go to the school and have a chance to prepare lessons and observe classes.

That is all for now. Take care.

Going to Gwangju!

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 06:51:01 GMT

I've been in Korea for four weeks now and I'm still alive!

Despite the stress, lack of sleep, and various illnesses, everything is going great.
I'm still loving it here.

Camp Fulbright just wrapped up.
It's basically a two week English camp for middle and high school students.
As for the ETAs, we were required to teach three practice lessons and organize some activities for the students.
I would say that even though my lessons didn't go as well as I had planned, it was definitely a learning experience.
It also really helped me to get a feel for what I'll be doing in the next year. Before, I really ndidn't have a good idea of what to expect,
so it was really good to observe how the more experienced ETAs handle the classes and to get that firsthand experience.

Now that Camp Fulbright is over, we have to worry about passing our final exams in Korean.
I'm not really concerned about what letter grade I get in the class. If I'm learning something in the class and reaching my goal of becoming
more fluent, then that's all I'm concerned about. Test scores are not always indicative of someone's ability, but naturally I want to do really well anyway, so I'm going to have to study hard in this next week.

There's only two weeks left of orientation. I'm really excited about this. I'm growing a bit tired of life at orientation. It's fun and I'm learning a lot, but it just feels like college all over again, and I'm ready to get into my home-stay and start teaching. I'm also excited because I found out last week that I will be placed in Gwangju. In my placement preference form, I stated that I wanted to live in a suburban setting in the interior of the country, and that's exactly what I got. Gwangju seems like a really interesting place. Not only is there a lot to do there, but it has an intense modern history. I read somewhere that it is the revolutionary center of Korea.
In my preference form, I had also asked for a smaller school, but since I'm in a bigger city, I naturally got a bigger school.
It's a co-ed elementary school, and I'll have about 30-40 students per class, which worries me just a little bit.
There was an ETA at this school previously, so I've been able to contact her and get some good information about the school.

And that's about it for now. I should probably get back to studying or doing something equally productive.

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:17:06 GMT

I have been in Korea for about two days now. Yay!

Since I've gotten here, it's been a whirlwind of activities and information sessons, and so it has been kind of hard to get any real downtime. But other than the unbearable heat and humidity, I love it here and I'm having a lot of fun.

Tomorrow we start taking Korean lessons, so I'm super excited. We had our placement tests today, and I was put in the intermediate level. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but I'm all for that.

Tonight there's going to be a party with the university English club. I'm tired and sore, so I probably won't stay too long, but it should be fun.

Okay, that's all I'm going to write for now. Maybe I'll put in a little more detail later and post some pictures.

Take care everyone!

Strange Season

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:06:14 GMT

In other news, everyone should check out this band: MoT

I am totally in love with their music. The songs have a sort of dream-like quality to them, which I always dig. I also think the singer's voice is oretty unique.

Fatty McFat Fat

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:10:36 GMT

Inspired by a night of binge-eating sugar (Damn you James and your awesome cookies!!) and waking up still feeling like crap, I have decided to go on huge health diet.
I have really been slacking in eating vegetables and working out in the past couple weeks, so right now I feel like a walrus.
So from now on, I'm going to try my hardest to avoid all the bad foods: anything fried, refined sugars, refined grains, and imitation sugars.
This will be especially hard when I move back in with my parents, but I'm determined to make this work this time. I'm getting older, and it's becoming increasingly apparent that my body won't stay in this good of shape forever, especially if I eat nothing but crap.
So for the sake of being in semi-awesome health when I'm all elderly, this needs to be done.
Wish me luck!

In other news, school is almost over!
I just have two finals to take and then the graduation ceremony where I have to walk in front of hundreds of people with that stupid gown on.
I'm kind of ready to go home now. Not so happy about leaving all my friends, but I think it's really time for a change.

Whooo! New tattoos!

Sat, 31 May 2008 23:14:36 GMT

So, I went through with it.

I finally got in contact with the guy at Tiki Tattoo on Thursday. I went in there and showed him what I wanted done.
I told him that it was a tribute to a musician that I loved, and he said "Elliott Smith, right?" Then he told me that he had just bought a couple of Elliott's albums and liked them. I was pleasantly surprised. I told him that I also wanted to get a music note behind my ear (last minute decision, haha), so he asked if I played anything, to which I answered that I played guitar. He plays too, so we talked about that for a while.
So I made the appointment for the next day at 4:00p.m. The guy seemed pretty cool, so I was feeling really positive.

The next day, I went through my classes, hung out with Donny, and pretty much just tried to kill time until the appointment. Surprisingly, I wasn't really nervous at all, like I was with the first. The thought of the pain involved didn't bother me, though I was a little anxious about whether it would turn out okay in the end.

Around 2:30, I got a call from the guy's wife asking if I would be able to come in early. So Donny and I went and picked up James and we headed over there. The wife was going to do the tattoo, so she was preparing everything. Donny and James were talking to the guy about tattooing kanji and which ones should be avoided. She placed both stencils and then she started with the heart. I just have to say, it hurt like none other. I really wasn't expecting that much pain. I'm pretty proud of myself though, cause I think I pretty much took it like a man (as my sister's boyfriend would say). Part of the way through, the guy starting playing Elliott Smith, which was nice. I thought it was entirely appropriate to listen to him while I was getting that tattoo done. The tattoo took longer than I expected, too. She kept having to retrace lines, and she told me that for women, it's a difficult area to tattoo. She was really good though and kept cleaning the ink off to make sure everything looked perfect. She finally finished with the heart, cleaned it, and started preparing for the next.

The music note behind the ear was, like I said, was something I decided on not long before I made the appointment. I just wanted to get something to show my love for music. I decided to do it in purple, just cause that's my favorite color. Behind the ear wasn't as painful as the chest, but it still hurt. It's a very awkward area, because there's no fat between the skin and bone, and it's right next to the ear. The note was very small though, so it didn't take very long. She ended up doing the outline in dark purple, and the inside in a lighter purple, so I think it turned out very cool.

I'm very relieved to say that I am completely happy with what I got. Everything turned out perfectly and I don't regret doing it at all. I hope that anything else I get in the future will turn out as great as what I've gotten so far. I haven't told my parents yet, only my sister and my aunt. It's not because I fear their response, because they're pretty cool about these kinds of things. I just want it to be a surprise when they come for graduation next weekend. Now let's just hope the healing goes well, haha.

XO

Sun, 25 May 2008 03:22:17 GMT

So, in the past couple days I had the crazy idea of getting another tattoo.

Stress and restlessness is probably the cause, but I just feel like I want to do something drastic and memorable before I leave this town. Originally, I wanted to get some music notes on the top of my foot, but then I read up on foot tattoos and found out that they are extremely difficult to heal and can fade easily. Then I came across this symbol:
A couple years ago I discovered the musician Elliott Smith and I fell in love with his music instantly. Not only is his skill on the guitar amazing, but his lyrics are so rich and convey so much emotion. When I listen to his music, I get this strange feeling in my chest and I become calm. And going back to his skill as a guitarist, he's really someone I look up to and I am striving to reach his level.

Anyway, I had seen this symbol a couple years ago when I was really listening to Elliott a lot. He had died the year before, so I was really sad about not discovering him earlier. Around this time I had also begun thinking about getting a tattoo and so this had been one of my first ideas. I had wanted to get this done on the inside of my right arm. I never did it because I still had not been sure about getting inked and I didn't have the money to do it. Then I went to Japan and kind of lost touch with his music.

So now here I am, remembering just how much I love his music and at the same time thinking of getting another tattoo. So naturally, I am considering getting this done. Granted, there are probably a lot of people who have this same symbol tattooed on their body, and usually I like to be original, but I really like how it looks and as a sort of tribute, I think that it's appropriate. I can't get this done on my arm now, because that would just be a pain to hide when I start teaching. So, I've decided that I will probably get it done on the left side of my chest, a little above my heart. There is a lot of bone on that spot though, so it's probably going to hurt a bit more than my first one. I'd get it done on my side, but I'm paranoid of it getting all stretched out if I end up having children or getting fat, haha.

Now, I just need to get a hold of the tattoo parlor here in town. They have weird hours it seems, and every time I drive by it's closed. I'm going to try to get it done next weekend, so that I have some time in case I lose interest in it. Also, so that it will be presentable by the time my parents come for graduation. I'm not telling them, cause I want it to be a surprise. They are pretty cool with me getting stuff done, so I am excited to see their reaction.

So, what do you guys think? Good idea? Terrible idea? Am I crazy?

Rant on India's treatment of women Pt. 2!!

Wed, 14 May 2008 20:56:58 GMT

Okay, so in my Religions of India class we are watching this fun movie called "Water."
The movie follows the story of a 8 year old girl who is sent to live in a commune for widows after the man that she is betrothed to dies.
At the commune, the girl lives in extreme poverty, along with many other women of varying ages. These women are expected to live lives of self-denial until the day that they die. These women wear signature white robes and sustain themselves with cold meals once a day. They are frowned upon by the rest of society, as it is believed that it is because of their bad luck that their husbands died.

As I wrote about before, in Indian society women are expected to treat their husbands as gods and have nothing but complete devotion and reverence, even if their husbands are complete bastards. As is the case with many of the women in the movie, they are at a young age when they are betrothed to much older men. So when it happens that the their 'husband' dies early, these children are sent off to live out the rest of their lives, which could be 50+ years, in poverty and solitude.

I can't even begin to fathom just what it's like to live like that. I just can't imagine sacrificing the rest of my life for the memory of a man that I didn't know or love. I can't help but be very angry about the whole situation. I suppose that it is due to the environment that I was raised in, and I guess that if I had been born in India I would have a very different opinion about it.

But really! It's just completely ridiculous.

Fun for all

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:46:27 GMT

Remind me not to be reborn as a woman in India.

Rules of life for Hindu women:
1. Deal with being ripped away from your family and being thrown into your husband's family, where you're treated worse than the dog.
2. Worship your husband as if he were a god, regardless if he's a complete asshole.
3. Daily rituals involving the cleansing of your husband's big toe. Why? Cause he's a god, duh.
4. In the event that your husband dies, be prepared to willingly(?!) throw yourself on his funeral pyre and die a painful, horrible death. The reward? You get to spend the rest of eternity with him (even if he's a complete asshole).
5. If you happen to be reborn, pray that you're reborn as a man. Or a worm.

Some guy in my Indian religions class made the comment that feminists would most definitely be against that sort of treatment.
Well if that's the case, then most women should be considered feminists. Unless there are women out there who are really cool with that kind of thing.

In other news, where the hell is Spring?!

Going to Korea!

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:55:22 GMT

I just got the announcement last week that I was accepted for the Fulbright ETA program in Korea!

I wasn't expecting any word of it until June, so it was quite a pleasant surprise.
Well, at least it was pleasant for me, not so much for my family. I was prepared for the less than enthusiastic responses that I would get from them.

"Oh.....Korea.......that's great Jen........" *sniff*

It's not that they're not supportive of me, it's just that they don't want me to leave. The first thing my Grandmother said to me when I came back from Japan was that I was not allowed to leave the country again. I feel really blessed to have such an great family that loves me, but I honestly can't stay forever.

On the other hand, my friends have been more than awesome in helping share my excitement. My roommate (who is Korean) was super excited and immediately called her mother in Korea to let her know the news. Her mother said that I needed to visit her when I got there and that if I ever needed any help that I should call. And her brother is also returning in December, so at least I'll have some people I know there.

Ok, so on to the details.
Apparently I'm scheduled to arrive in Korea on the 7th of July.
For the first month or so I'll go through orientation, where I'll learn teaching methods, take intensive Korean lessons and go on small trips.
After that I get placed at a school in one of the bigger cities (not Seoul).
I'll be living in a homestay situation with a family of either a teacher or a student, which will be great because I'll be forced to really learn Korean in order to communicate.
I'll be teaching English to elementary students and working anywhere from 20-40 hours a week (first full-time job!). I guess I'll pretty much be on my own with the classes, which means I'll have to create my own lesson plans. I'm kind of worried about that. Hopefully I'll manage to make things interesting for the students and they'll learn a lot from me.
The awesome thing is that everything is pretty much payed for, including plane tickets, and I'll get a monthly paycheck of about $1,300.

It's only three months away, so right now I'm kinda stressing about getting everything prepared and getting my language skills at a decent level. That, of course, in addition to getting ready to graduate.
But I'm so incredibly happy and I can't wait to start!

The story's in the soil, loose leaves cover the ground.....

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:43:56 GMT

Which Elliott Smith song are you?

LA
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Which BRIGHT EYES song are you?

You are "Bowl of Oranges". You see life to more than what most people do and you genuinely care about people. You feel art and music is the sure way of lifting your spirits. You wish others could have appreciation like you do, but, unfortunately, you are probably the only one.
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Truly Outrageous!

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 07:46:57 GMT

Today I was reminded of a little bit of awesomeness that I experienced during my childhood:

http://www.pranceatron.com/jem/glitter.htm

Oh. Yes.

This doll was probably the coolest thing I owned at 5 years old.
I'm pretty sure that I listened to that tape non-stop for at least a month.
God, this makes me feel all nostalgic and what not.
And damnit! Why did I not have the foresight to realize that things like this would still be awesome 20 years down the road, and to not get rid of it?!

When I return home, I plan on raiding whatever is left of my childhood possessions for keepers.
Too bad we had that big yard sale before I left. Crap.

Well, I already knew that.....

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 06:13:37 GMT

Your Score: Emo Kid

You are 28% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 0% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:

life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad

So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test